u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
