Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
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