Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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