I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
