he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
