its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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