Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
