The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
