I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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