How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
