It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
and you fell through a lawn chair
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
