Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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