i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
