Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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