haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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