guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
