first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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