Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
