I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
