dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
