Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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