What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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