No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Randomize
