well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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