stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
