whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
