I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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