Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
