he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
