Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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