I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
