he wants to bone in the snuggie
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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