The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize