dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
