His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
