i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
