dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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