Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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