We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
