Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
