ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
