I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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