I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
