Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
