OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
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