loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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