question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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