were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
im holly from the hills drunk
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
