So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
