Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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