Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
