in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
