i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize