i just wanna soil my oats bro
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
