i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
