i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
