So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
