I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
