It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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