They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
