i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
