drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
