I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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