Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
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