small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Found the puke drawer
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
